Can we live without Joey Barton?

I'm hardly one of those Legal Eagle type people but I'm pretty sure that somewhere along the line Joey Barton would have had one of those "I promise not to be a complete dick" clauses inserted in his contract.

It may have been related to him punching people in the street, or maybe punching people on the training ground, or maybe punching people during a televised Premier League match. Or maybe they had in mind his creative use of a teenager's eye as an ashtray or the way he used Xabi Alonso as a doormat. No matter what the cause, there would have been a clause.

Ahhh the sheer Poetry!!

Following his last outburst he would have been taken aside and told "Now, now, Joseph. No more silliness or I'll count to 5.... !"

Joseph chose to be silly and the counting is, I suspect, complete.

To change the subject briefly I'm half way through writing a little piece on "loyalty". I have never understood this bizarre idea that a footballer, being paid for providing a service, or lets say "plying his trade", should be expected to show loyalty when a better deal comes along.

Imagine, you are stacking shelves at the local Co-Op and someone comes along from Tesco's and offers you an extra hundred quid a week to stack their shelves instead.

How long would loyalty play a part in your decision?

I was, and still am, determined to show that in 99.9% of all cases - loyalty is the stuff of fairytales. It is, to put it in laymans terms, a complete load of bollocks. Does your plumber show loyalty? The woman at the Post Office? Your local News Reader?

No. And why should they?

Notice that I said that it was only in 99.9% of cases that loyalty was a load of bollocks.

So what about the other 0.1%? What's that all about?

That other 0.1% is Joey Barton.

If anyone should show loyalty it is Joey Barton.

If anyone should keep it zipped when others are gobbing off, it's Joey Barton.

If anyone was treated more than fairly, against all odds, it was Joey Barton.

If anyone was given a chance by the club when even the fans said he should be dumped, it was Joey Barton.

So if anyone deserves to be kicked out for being a complete dick, it has to be.........well, figure it out yourself.

Andy Carroll - 35 million pounds. Unbelievable deal. Dumb to turn it down.

Kevin Nolan - wanted a 13 million pound commitment, couldn't get it, went somewhere he could.

Jose Enrique - wants European Football, cant get it - out there actively lobbying

Joey Barton - wants, well I'm not really sure what he wants.

This is hardly the Teletubbies that we are talking about here.

The only reason that Barton has been transfer listed as a freebie is because the money saved on his salary equals roughly his expected transfer fee. Enrique should thank his lucky stars that he's more bankable.

Last season I posted weekly assessments of all the matches.

I slated Barton almost every week.

Over the whole season I think I gave him one man of the match and just could not understand why everyone was raving so much about him.

We now have three or four midfielders who can distribute the ball better than Barton, can tackle better, are faster, and in all likelihood will make it through the season without punching anyone.

We can live without him.

Note from Toonsy - Thanks to Archie Brand for giving us this rather controversial and alternative vuewpoint on the Joey Barton situation.