Four takeaways from Newcastle 1-2 Bournemouth

Newcastle United fell to, perhaps, the most predictable defeat of Eddie Howe’s reign on Saturday, losing 2-1 to Bournemouth at St James’ Park. 

It was a match in which the entire side appeared checked out, wishing they were anywhere else than Barrack Road, and whilst all the talk of “having the fight and drive” to continue doing the job from the Head Coach, it seems his instructions are very much falling on deaf ears these days.

For the second weekend in a row, a half-interested side whose manager is leaving at the end of the season have turned us over with one eye closed and one arm tied behind their backs, as our lads (the ones that could be bothered to take to the field anyway…) just wandered around looking galled that they were even deigned to be asked to pull on the Black and White shirt.

Here’s my four key takeaways from a truly awful game:

Listless, rudderless, and lacking a captain

It’s becoming rinse and repeat as this point, but what was the game plan on Saturday? The lads had absolutely no idea how to break Bournemouth down. The plan seemed to be to go through the middle and when that failed by the virtue of them just packing the middle of the park, we seemed to just run out of ideas.

There was no invention, no ideation on the methods, and we’ve clearly become so prescriptive in how we play that opponents can roll out a game plan from 2024 and we’ll undoubtedly come unstuck.

Whoever steps up in the leadership group when Bruno is absent clearly doesn’t understand their role, and to the captaincy to Tonali stank of desperation, a hopeful last-minute attempt to sway the guy into staying at the club, and it backfired horribly. I’ve never seen a drop off so pronounced in a footballer; the Italian is clearly mentally anywhere but Newcastle and he is now translating that mentality into performances.

Howe's message has clearly gone stale

It pains me say, but performances like that are a failure of coaching, and the pig-headedness to continue to pursue plan A, when plan A clearly stopped working nigh on 18 months ago after the cup final, is a dereliction of duty, and one which deserves to have consequences.

Saturday saw Eddie have his head in his hands on multiple occasions on the touchline and it cannot be denied that for the second weekend in a row his players have badly let him down, but he looks a man betrayed and beaten down every time he speaks to media post-match at the moment, and you have to wonder what he’s actually thinking about his ability to continue to keep doing the job.

Because from the outside looking in, it looks like it’s getting (has gotten?!?!) away from him. I think Howe needs to get some fresh coaching impetus into the backroom setup if he is going to stay, much in the same way as when he took on Graeme Jones when he arrived at SJP. If not, then I think we all know what the alternative is, no matter how painful it might be to admit.

 Players protecting themselves

It’s funny isn’t how these last minute injuries crop up to key players that keep them out of one game, one that has so much swirling around it, one that has the narrative already prewritten for things to go a certain way, and when things go that way, they are shielded from some criticism because they weren’t part of the performance.

I do want to quickly preface by saying that I’m not as down on Anthony Gordon as some fans, but I think what he did on Saturday was cowardly. He’s one of our better players, on his day, and yes, his day is very far away at the moment, but in a week when rumours of a move to Bayern Munich ramp up, his injury feels all to convenient.

Perhaps he’ll post to Instagram a horrible surgery scar to set me right this week, but I was all too reminded of Michael Owen and his actions to protect himself for England duty the entire time he played for us… and it didn’t end well for him in the fanbase’s eyes.

A goal to sum up the afternoon

Nothing has summed up a game of football more than the series of events that led to Bournemouth’s winning goal. One swift one-two ball through the middle-left of the park, with a barely fit Bruno nowhere and Tonali equally absent covering an inept, aging Trippier.

For the ball to then come across ahead of a half-hearted, out of position Thiaw block, the left back and centre back to jump for the same ball (because the guy playing at LB is actually a CB) and neither of them wins it, and for there to be FIVE players around Truffert, but simultaneously nobody anywhere near him, as he puts the ball in the back of the net.

I’ve never seen a more contemptuous display of football in my life, and I’ve sat through Dalgliesh, Souness, Pardew, McClaren, Kinnear and Bruce. Awful, awful, awful, and if we could I’d happily end the season now.